Relationships...

Well, yesterday was a long day of getting up early and working hard, it was a beautiful day and one cannot help but smile when the sun is out. To me everything seems better in the world, people seem happier, they look better and there is just something about God's glorious sun that makes you want to get up, go outside and admire nature...well it does for me anyway! I can't wait 'til summer!!

Yesterday I had a really good conversation with a friend, who is also my ex boyfriend. Now you're either thinking one of two things at this point...oh dear the dreaded ex or ooo the ex eh? Neither would be right, 'the ex' has been given such negative connotations that to so many people it seems odd being good friends with them. But I thinking about it after, if every relationship is based on friendship (which I fully believe it should be) then why does the friendship not last after the relationship for so many? Sometimes it is clear that there are still feelings and hurt but if all ended relatively well and there are no feelings left other than those of friendship-why should it be viewed strangely?

All that aside, I come now to my point which my friend brought up...he said something along the lines of 'you need someone that can spiritually lead even you' now that's slightly paraphrased but the emphasis was pretty much the same. It wasn't said maliciously, I know my friend and he is the sort of blunt friend you need to help put perspective into things. Whether you agree or not I still think it's important that the man leads, there's nothing wrong with being vulnerable and being that damsel in distress every now and again-I'm pretty sure guys like to step up to the challenge of being chivalrous.

My friend has a perfect example of this...Whilst in London on one of the escalators she fell over and lost her shoe, her shoe went flying across the station. Hobbling to go get it a man picks up the shoe and not only gives it to her, but kneels down and places it on her foot and walks on. Cinderella or what? He could have walked on, walked past but he was a true gentleman and helped 'the damsel in distress'.

It's not inferior to be vulnerable, every woman needs their hero likewise every man needs a woman "Behind every good man, there is a woman". I like to think and hope that chivalry still exists and hasn't vanished, that there are guys out there who will be a gentleman. So guys, don't let chivalry die out, it never goes unnoticed.

I'd want a guy that could make decisions, that could be relied upon and would be able to help me when I needed it, but that does sometimes mean that we have to step back and give them the chance, encourage them where necessary and be supportive.

From a christian point of view, it is so important that both people are spiritually on fire, otherwise one could drag the other down (so to speak) and then both would end up in a place where neither wants to go. Personally, I'd want to be led by someone who was strong in theology and one that could teach me a lot, yet I could teach them things to, about being pastoral about my gifts, and bring whatever it is that I have to offer. I want someone who will keep me safe spiritually and in the normal day things. Every guy loves to be protective and every girl loves to feel protected.

I used to think having a relationship had to be practical, had to start at a good time, at a good age, in the right place, but now I know relationships are not practical and maybe they never will be. They are time consuming and draining and it takes a lot to put yourself on the edge, but it's all fully worth it...every moment makes it. Practicality is a very minor part of relationships, at least that's what I've learnt.

A relationship is not just...let's see how it goes or I like you and you like me...it's about the future-can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person? Otherwise, what's the point? You've had your few months, your few years and then what? You break up and that whole time was just spent giving part of your heart away, another part of your heart that some lucky person could have had? I used to think I could do what my brother had done and the first relationship I had would be the last, the first kiss and the last...but now, my path has led me somewhere new. My best friend is getting married soon and she got her fairy tale relationship, but for me it's just not like that.

We all have our paths to follow, mine is something new, something different, something tailor fitted for me and only God know what it is and who will be with me. Thank goodness he knows my size, shape and my perfect match! My heart is in capable hands with Him.