I'm currently in one of those very pensive and melancholy moods. The sort of mood that Emos seem to be constantly stuck in, although I haven't decided to dye my hair and revert to teenage angst. (just yet) I have however been lying on my bed thinking. A truly shocking activity I know! I'm staring at the guitar in front of me and the keyboard to the left of me and further to the left of me my sewing machine. I'm looking at all of these things and finally waking myself up to the fact that I don't have a clue about any of them (not really anyway).
I'm no dancer, singer, musician, artist or intellectual. I'm not 'a jack of all trades and master of none', I think I probably fall into the category where I might be good at something, but I'm not sure what that something is right now. I can write-I think that is my one saving grace, but writing for pleasure seems to have become this teenage angst/super emotional and ridiculous talent that no-one actually cares about and no-one wants to read. (I think you can see my mood by now!) So I began the self-pitying road with a whole load of miserable along the way and I came to the conclusion that I don't have any talents and nothing really worthy of telling people. I think at one point I said I am pretty worthless and then questioned why I was even made. (Ok maybe there is slight angst there) but through the melodrama I heard a faint voice. "I made you in MY image. You are worth something to me." "Why do you need to have visible talents that have to be acknowledged?" "You are MY daughter. I drew up specific plans for you." Then I was reminded of an event that had happened earlier in the day...My housemate phoned me to say that a baby bird had fallen from its nest and died in our drive, could I sort it out etc. Not a particularly nice memory until I was reminded that "Not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without the Father knowing it...you are more valuable than a whole flock of sparrows." Matthew (NLT). So although my melancholy has not completely lifted, I know that God created me for a purpose. Unfortunately I forget that beautiful and encouraging truth sometimes and need Him to gently nudge me and remind me that I am not worthless and that I am His. That alone should be enough. I maybe talentless but on the brightside it means I don't have any talents to get in the way of serving God-so I He ultimately gets more of me!!
I'm no dancer, singer, musician, artist or intellectual. I'm not 'a jack of all trades and master of none', I think I probably fall into the category where I might be good at something, but I'm not sure what that something is right now. I can write-I think that is my one saving grace, but writing for pleasure seems to have become this teenage angst/super emotional and ridiculous talent that no-one actually cares about and no-one wants to read. (I think you can see my mood by now!) So I began the self-pitying road with a whole load of miserable along the way and I came to the conclusion that I don't have any talents and nothing really worthy of telling people. I think at one point I said I am pretty worthless and then questioned why I was even made. (Ok maybe there is slight angst there) but through the melodrama I heard a faint voice. "I made you in MY image. You are worth something to me." "Why do you need to have visible talents that have to be acknowledged?" "You are MY daughter. I drew up specific plans for you." Then I was reminded of an event that had happened earlier in the day...My housemate phoned me to say that a baby bird had fallen from its nest and died in our drive, could I sort it out etc. Not a particularly nice memory until I was reminded that "Not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without the Father knowing it...you are more valuable than a whole flock of sparrows." Matthew (NLT). So although my melancholy has not completely lifted, I know that God created me for a purpose. Unfortunately I forget that beautiful and encouraging truth sometimes and need Him to gently nudge me and remind me that I am not worthless and that I am His. That alone should be enough. I maybe talentless but on the brightside it means I don't have any talents to get in the way of serving God-so I He ultimately gets more of me!!
.JPG)
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